Unlikely to Like

You are a free spirit.

You have a lot to say to the world and you don't hesitate to tell them everything. Even if everyone judges you and sees you as bad, you wouldn't care. You clearly know what you're fighting for and no one can stop you. You seem to be an unlikable sort to others. Your judgment can highly uplift someone and deeply undermine another to an even worse degree. But the thing is, everything you say is what you truly feel. I haven't seen someone like you for ages. You are a sight for sore eyes.

I feel comfortable when I talk to you.

It's the kind of comfortable that lets me be myself. Maybe it's because I already know that you will judge me and tell me however horrible I am, no matter what the consequence, that I feel no insecurities when I'm with you. Well, almost. Lately, I've been feeling a certain insecurity--insecurity with my face, my looks.  I become wary, overly conscious, and nearly pretentious whenever I'm with you. Surely those are bad signs. And, I think they're getting worse.

Every now and then I'll think about our talks.

The long ones that didn't seem to last at first. How you manage to cheer me up at some point and give me advices. Rude advices at first. But in the end, they are all for the better. You have saved me many times.

I pretend.

Yes, unlike you, I pretend. I pretend that I do not see you come near me. I pretend that I don't feel any shame whenever my friends tease me whenever you're there. I pretend that I only see you as a friend and nothing more. Notice all my messages? They don't have those hearts and flirty texts. The closest thing I have to flirting are the smiley emoticons I give when I say thanks.

I always have my guard up.

You'll never see me blush. Because, in some way or another, I am able to hide it. Be it that you weren't looking or I was able to take cover at my friend's back, I have always been able to make it all a secret to you. A secret I wish to be kept from you.

Yes, I like you.

Even though I won't let you feel it. Even though I seem to be indifferent. Even though at times I argue with you. Even though people thinks bad of you. Even though I know you're too far ahead of me. Even though I know that you are out of my league. And, even though after you read all these, I will still be able to deny it.

I know it's unlikely, but I seem to like you.